Monday, November 24, 2008

A New Club...

I would like to start a new club... It will be called the "Deaf Husbands in Denial Wives Club"

It is for all women whose husbands absolutely deny that there is anything wrong with their hearing, but who never-the-less must have the TV/radio/stereo/ headphones cranked up to max...

I'm going to ask for a hefty registration and annual fee for this club, as that money will be used to bail said wives out of jail after they throttle their husbands.

If you are not sure you belong in this club, let me present an example...

Husband (H) flew in very loud planes for a living for 20 years. Upon his retirement, his employer told him he had a 10% hearing loss. This determination was made in 1991.

Since 1991, H has incrementally needed louder and louder outputs from TV's, stereos, radios, conversations. Thankfully, he has been amenable to wearing headphones while watching TV at night (an activity his wife (W) does not care to share in. )
However, in the past several years, W has noticed that even if she is in the same room with H, he frequently can not hear her unless he is looking right at her. (can you say unconscious lip-reading???) Also, W has noticed that now she can hear what's on the TV thru H's (sound canceling) headphones, even during normal dialogue (let alone the loud action sequences!)

And let's not EVEN talk about how loud H's voice is!!! He seems to feel that since he cannot hear others, he must speak ever more loudly. This makes the W positively CRINGE at the prospect of going out in public with H.

Needless to say, W has encouraged H to return for a new hearing evaluation on more than one occasion... Also needless to say is that H has steadfastly denied the need for any such re-eval.

"10%" is his mantra. "My hearing is fine!"

"BULLSHIT' is hers. "It's been 17 flippen' years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

While this disability does have some advantage for W (Twisted Evil ), she is reaching the end of her rope. It is feared that soon W is going to visit some bodily harm upon H due to this unfortunate situation.

And so, ladies ~ there you have it. If there are any others of you out there, please join me in this club... we can offer each other solace (quietly!), and be there for each other when we stand trial. (Although I'm sure that any female judge, and any female jurors, would acquit us immediately!!)

Yours truly ~

Sick of Shouting


Cottleston Pie is the Taoist philosophy dealing with our Inner Nature (as explained by Winnie-the-Pooh)
To get the full scoop, read "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff.
The full poem is at the very bottom here...