Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Please, dear ladies ~ don’t pass this by just because it is a football issue ~ it is about SO much more than that.

For those of you who don’t follow the NFL ~ back in February of this year, a player was accused of beating his then fiance..  At the time, the NFL gave him a 2 game suspension.

On Monday, a legit video was released showing him punching his fiance so hard that she lost consciousness, and of him dragging her {mostly facedown} out of the elevator. It then showed his callous disregard for her.
The video is here 

As a result of the video, his team has terminated his contract completely, and the NFL has banned him indefinitely.

As a victim of domestic abuse myself , and having gone through years of extensive counseling after it, there are a few things I’d like to say...

This abuse, and other forms of it, has obviously been going on for quite a while. To get to that level of violence and callousness takes a lot of buildup. First comes the verbal and emotional forms of abuse. Then the physical abuse begins ~ slowly at first, then escalating.
That punch did NOT come out of nowhere.

Was she inebriated? Maybe. Did she spit at him? Maybe. Did that, or any other factors, make her ‘deserve’ the knock-out punch he gave her?
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO human being deserves that kind of treatment.

9/9 ~ N.B. ~ I’m writing this now in light of the lady’s statements to the press today. You can see them here...

She is now defending him, and I am not at all surprised. There is something called “Battered Persons Syndrome ~ somewhat similar to the “Stockholm Syndrome” experienced by kidnapped persons. Google it for more information.

She is still living in the fantasy world that he created ~ that he has NOT done wrong, and that the media  is the culprit.

I can only hope that her true family & friends can get her into counseling to break her out of her nightmare.

Otherwise, I fear for her life, and the life of their child.


Laurel Stephens said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your abusive past, Bobbie. This must bring back such painful memories for you. I admire you for speaking out against violence towards women and am sending peace and comfort your way today.

mollie said...

Sending healing love to this tragic situation and all who are involved <3

Bonnie said...

No one outside of the people involved in any relationship know the totality of the relationship.

I do appreciate reading your perspective as(sadly)someone who experienced abuse. I'm thankful that you were able to get out of that and heal.
Many hugs

Carolyn said...

It is difficult to understand why individuals make decisions. Some because they are afraid and scared of their abuser, others because they stay in the relationship for the sake of their children, some because they have no way to earn a living on their own, and of course those who are manipulated and are led to believe things will change.

I truly feel sad for those who are abused and treated so poorly with no voice to protect themselves.

Bobbie, you are a very strong woman and have had to deal with many hardships. I know you will continue to be strong and make each day a special one. You have many friends who support you and stand by your side when needed. You would be the perfect person to volunteer to help others thru programs available today for those who need advice or merely a person who understands what they are going through. Think about it.

Unknown said...

Fabulous post Bobbie - one I hope many read.
I too was a victim of domestic abuse - got out before it got to the point of no return - but I've never judged any woman..........
We need to stand by each other a little more I think - as a society we either pity or scorn - very seldom do we take a moment to actually understand.
I have a post in my drafts on women - ( not this particular subject ) and how judgemental so many are.
Much love,

Art and Sand said...

I am so sorry to know that you are a victim of domestic violence. I know a bit about it from the experiences of a family member. I once left the country to rescue her from a near death experience only to have her go back to him. One year later she finally left him and gave herself and her children a much better life.

I heard something on NPR about the issue and the woman speaking said that this event has brought more recognition of the domestic violence issue than she has seen in 40 years of working with abused women.

My thoughts are with you as I am sure all this makes you recall the worst moments.

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To get the full scoop, read "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff.
The full poem is at the very bottom here...