Friday, May 15, 2009

Feeling selfish & sorry for m'self...

Our niece is getting married in Paris today (5/16), and I'm sitting here in tears...
feeling both selfish and sorry for m'self...

We planned on going, and we were also going to go to Germany after the wedding, so I could revisit where I was born, and where I grew up (something that has been a long time dream of mine)...

Also, since niece's Mom died 2 years ago, I was going to be her 'Mom' for the wedding, as I'm her closest female relative. And she is SUCH a neat kiddo ~ I love her to bits ~

But then the husband mentioned that the trip would eat deeply into our funds to someday move the away from this hellhole we're living in (Yuck-berg).
And I just CAN NOT let go of THAT hope, and dream ~ of getting back to my beloved ocean (if not in CA, then at least in OR)

And so I had to make the choice between a one-time event, and the dream of my life.
Life won.

But right now, I would give my eye-teeth to be standing next to R.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me ~ I'm doing enough of that m'self!!!! ~ but I could sure use some cyber hugs...
_________________

6 comments:

GB, RN said...

One big cyber-hug coming your way!

That sucks. When pressed with life's decisions, I try to remember the difference between what I want now versus what I want most.

Who knows, maybe you will be able to go on your trip someday.

Kylie said...

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Bobbie

Scrappy said...

(((((HUGS)))))

Tricia said...

Big hugs!!!!!

Auntie Em said...

Oh no! I know you really really wanted to go HUGS to ya big time!

Missus Wookie said...

Oh yuck - hate it when you have to make choices between two dreams!

Hope the wedding went well and she sends you lots of photos.


Cottleston Pie is the Taoist philosophy dealing with our Inner Nature (as explained by Winnie-the-Pooh)
To get the full scoop, read "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff.
The full poem is at the very bottom here...