Monday, October 5, 2009

Surgery ~ it's a go...

...for this Thursday (the 8th).

Unfortunately, I'm having some pretty severe panic attacks about it (starting yesterday afternoon when I had a complete meltdown and cried for about 7 hours straight)

What I fear ~

the TERROR of being on the other side of the bedrails
loss of control
loss of identity
being caged
loss of autonomy
the feeling of being 'trapped'
and the WORST of all ~ the terror of possibly not being in a private room. Because I KNOW if that happens, I will get absolutely NO rest, NO sleep and by the third day I will (almost literally) be screaming to get the F*** out of there.

I am SO scared. Not about any of the physical stuff; only the mental, emotional stuff.


Jen said...

Good luck & hugs!

ladynurse4 said...

all my good thoughts for you. I know how it is to be afraid of being on the other side of the bedrail! We just know too much!

Cottleston Pie is the Taoist philosophy dealing with our Inner Nature (as explained by Winnie-the-Pooh)
To get the full scoop, read "The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff.
The full poem is at the very bottom here...